hello june[bugs]

It seems no matter where you go, phyllophaga [or may beetle, june bugs, july beetles] are everywhere. It's strange that they have so many names... they're not even cutsie. Their constant buzzing and attacking disgusts me, so I thought I'd look up a few things about them, hoping their shelf life is short. I couldn't find a direct answer, but if they're around for the rest of my summer, I will go insane.

Tonight I decided to go for a run. Well, a semi-run. I went to Amaize Place [cool name for a park, I know] and did my warm up walk and started running. Things were going well, I jogged, I walked... jogged... walked. I still had a few laps left in me, but my wedgie was slowing me down so I pulled over and had at it. My distaste for seagulls surfaced and in a small rage, I kicked a pine cone in its direction. All of a sudden, there's a small woodland creature careening at me. I can only assume it was a woodchuck, because it didn't have the tail of a beaver, so I booked it to the baseball fields and waited for it to run off. It's curious to me how angry it looked. My pine cone was intended for the seagull, mmmmkay.

What else, what else? Oh. I've decided to embrace summer. I spend so much time at work, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have a good time. So today bff and I went to the beach, the spraypark, the community center leisure pool, and then had a lovely pizza. After she went home I went for my run, as mentioned, and now I sit watching law and order: svu. It's a brilliant show, really. You might not be thinking that l&o is embracing summer, but it makes me happy and there's nothing else to do in town this late. Sad, really. If I could be on one show, it'd be something Disney or l&o. It's so genius, I never figure out who dun it before the end. But maybe that says something about my intelligence rather than the plotline. Eh.

I'm not sure what else I plan on doing to embrace my summer... or how far it's even going to go, but let's all keep our fingers crossed.

have a good night everyone; stay away from the bad weather.


love you, love your show.
exs and oh mys,
Rachelly

flip out.

oh. btw.

Joe Dumars can bite my big toe. He and everyone else involved in the firing of Flip Saunders. Because it's obviously his fault that Rasheed cannot keep his mouth shut, or play like a champ. And it's his fault the Pistons have only made it to the semi-finals 3 years in a row. He's not out there drawing the fouls and missing the free throws. OR causing any of the turnovers.
Listen.
Firing Flip almost guarantees that for the next two years, the Pistons will be nobody's. We were decently lucky with the turnover after Larry Brown that we didn't fall down a stink hole, but I don't think we'll have a fighting chance.

If the Pistons had their heads on straight, we could win.

lava you flip.

and it legit smelled like dookie.

I don't even know where to begin. There are so many things going through my head right now, I can't sort them all out. Let's see...

The internship is going well. It keeps me busy (and sleep deprived... and malnourished) but I'm learning so much about PR. The only thing I really dislike is the whole not knowing what hours I work all the time and having to dress up. I'm a pretty casual person, so the nice pants/shirt thing is a little rigid and awkward for me.

Went to NYC/NJ this past weekend.... had a blast. Not really sure how to blog about it, but let's just say my expectations were exceeded. By far. We did some of the classic tourist things in NYC [and hello Pinkberry, may I say you are delicious?] and traveled around some... well, less "classic" spots but they were noteworthy. And vlog worthy. :)

Let's fast forward to tonight.. yes? Baked cookies not from scratch. What, do you think I'm Betty Crocker? Then went to see The Strangers with best friend. Holy canoli. Pretty sure my heart stopped beating multiple times and I have yet to recover. Living in a small town has its advantages, but driving through the woods to get home after a horror movie is not a prime choice. Yet, I had to do it. scary. Scary scary scary. I can guarantee I will never peek out my front window at night anymore. I'm a naturally curious person, but there's no need to do that to myself. Never.

What could possibly have made the whole movie experience for me, though, was the sighting of the boy whom I loathe more than most things. He pretty much smashed my heart when I was young [16] and semi-stupid. In the car ride home, Rachel and I discussed how we brought out the worst in each other and I'm not proud of some of the things I've said to him, but still... love is love baby. Love is love [word up to Tina] and for a long period in my life he made me quite miserable. His scamming and trying to pick up my best friends was not a highlight of our time together, either.

Eugh. I digress. I'm done with him and he's long done with me. It just sucks. I wish this was baggage I could just drown. Whatever.


Umm. I guess that's all. I'd update more often if my life were more interesting. But alas;

love you, love your show.
exs and oh mys,
Rachel

ed. eeet.

Also note that I have edited the information a few posts back regarding the map of me. Check it out if you want an explanation. It wasn't that deep, so if you clicked it I'm sure you figured it out, but it's posted nonetheless.

Aaaand please excuse my cranky tirade from a few days. That's all.

It's a bran new day!

So I ate Oat Bran and prunes in the same day, and let me recommend that you NOT do that. It was delicious yet painful. Just in case you wanted an update on that aspect of my life, well there you go.

I "started" my internship at the hospital today. By started I mean I woke up super early, drove to the 20ish minutes to Saginaw and then got the grand tour and met my supervisors at 9 am. Seeing as I'm not a morning person, I can already tell this is going to be quite a summer. I'm so tired right now and I didn't even do anything. My first real day starts Tuesday; I work from 9-5 and then Wednesday 9-7. Hello 10 hour day. But it seems pretty great. I'll get to work on a lot of exciting projects and Tuesday I'm even doing an interview with a doctor for a segment that will air on the news later this month. Oh! I also have my very own office with my own extension and email address. Business Development Intern feels like a BA right about now. Kidding. Kind of.

So while I'm excited about this, I'm not excited about the fact I am not making any money in doing it. I'm trying to keep a lot of open time to find a paying job, but I work Tuesday-Friday next week so that leaves me little time to do much else. Oh well, I'll figure it out.


Treasure Hunt days are upon us. I can tell because my dog Buddy is yipping like a maniac. Auburn has this delightful town wide rummage sale the same weekend every year and it's pretty outrageous. There's a map made of all the houses participating, and if you're one of the many to have a rummage sale, you place an 'X' in your front yard. Like treasure. Okay, it's a little nerdy and a little "small town" but you can really find some great deals, if deals are what you're in to.

The parentals are hounding me to unpack, but I haven't even been home for a full week yet, so I'll hold off. Make 'em sweat a little.

Other than that, nothing new is really going on in my life. Actually, I think I may go take a nap. I'm feeling a little exhausted. yawn.

cheers!

love you, love your show-
exs and oh mys.
Rachel

have you ever been low?

Check yes. I definitely have been low. "Low" kind of defines my life, and though I try and push through it, something new always seems to consume my existence. This week, the fuse on my firework was tested, and I pretty much exploded with emotion. Let's rewind, shall we?

- My roommate and I tried to make the best of our final week together. We sidestepped the awkwardness in the apartment and had a final bonding dinner[Thai food, yum yum!]... but then during closing chit got wild. Jessica decided it would be a great time, amidst our 16 hour work day, to sneak away and fake sick. Whatever, I called her out on it and she came back at 11 p.m. with her mother. We've had issues with her mom staying in the apartment as I may have mentioned before, but this was an outrageous thing to do after the stunts she'd pulled all day. So I may have said some inappropriate things, and we may have been separated from each other. Yes, on our last night, we had to be relocated. That's cool, right? No.

- Thursday night I did the one thing I've been dreading for the past two years: say goodbye to Joe. As he said, it's not forever, but it sure feels like it. I cried for two hours before walking to his apartment, and two hours after. It was one of those cries that when you wake up the next morning, your lungs feel as if they'd been assaulted. Throughout all of the craziness of college and home life, Joe has been one of those people who has really kept me going. He is everything you look for in a best friend, and it kills me to not have that anymore. I completely adore our friendship and the words I wrote in his card don't do justice to how I feel. Devastated is an understatement when I think of how I feel now that he's out of my life. But don't worry, I'm invited to his wedding. That's... great.

Somehow I managed to keep it together while we were together, but after the awkward hug and the shutting of his apartment door, I lost it. Honestly, my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it right now. Joe was just.... I have no words. I should stop anyways. I could go for days talking about how much I love him. But I won't, because it would probably creep him out if he ever read it. Just know that a part of my heart is now missing.

And... CUT. Emo scene over.



Hmm. In other news, Auburn is exactly how I remember. It never changes. Best friend is the best thing about it, and it's so worth being here just to hang out with her. We're probably going to be the coolest roommates ever, FYI. The thing about Auburn is there's nothing to do. So I end up going for a drive, wasting expensive gas, to then pull into my driveway and stare at Emerson's house. Everyday is a constant reminder of his being gone, and Stuart's too.

I just feel sad tonight. Best friend and I went for an enjoyable expedition to Midland but my dark place is not relenting. I'm so far from happy, it's.... I guess I'll end on this note: It doesn't seem fair that people refuse to understand how much I'm going through. I'm really trying here, to be everything: a decent daughter, a good friend, an interesting person.... but I just want to feel happy. And I wish people would realize sometimes you have to step on toes to do that.

I don't know what I need, but it's not your conceited thoughts or adolescent foolishness. I'm not new to the whole "brain ninja" business, so stop pretending that you're better than everyone else, or that you honestly care how I feel. You don't, and I'm tired of pretending that I think you do. Grow up? kthanks.

whatever.
Ray

Come on baby, map my day.

a great deal of the visual integrity of this project was compromised in turning this into a jpg file so I may upload this sucker, but I said I would so... here it is. A map of my day.

I'll edit and explain later, however right now I'm in class so I must go.

Peace.


Edit: Okay; here's the map of me. I'm the cartoonish person at the bottom and throughout the course of the day, you can see how I get a little more disheaveled. Kind of cute, right? Not really.

You can see all of the things I think about at different points during the day: a rooster (so I'm waking up) a bus (how am I going to get places?) family (eh. kind of explanatory) food (for lunch) my cat Moses (for a mid-day pick me up) then I get online (and chat with the bff) listen to music (as to not harm anyone after a long day) contemplate doing homework (but probably won't) and then go to bed (and dream about my friend Allie being a goat, I suppose.)


There you go. There's my map. That's me. That's my life.

I've got the two ear itch.

I think my Joe's are really kickin' the bucket tonight. They're barely moving. I just don't get it; where's the will to live in these blokes? Do I not give them enough clean water? Enough TetraMin flakes? Love? Attention? Sunlight?

I just sneezed so now I'm sure my keyboard is contaminated with germs. Maybe my human germs are killing my fish. But your guess is as good as mine.

So today I had four exams and I'm glad they're over. Now I've only got one class left (not even a final) until I'm a free lady. Well, I've still got to work in Chicago until May 9th but essentially I am free. I just need to make sure I buy a Cubbies hat before I go back to Michigan. I also have no idea how I'm going to pack all of my belongings, or where I shall store them for the summer however right this moment I do not even care. It's just somehow every year I acquire so much more junk it's kind of absurd. I'm a pack rat and this can't be helped.

Update: The inside of my ears also itch pretty bad. I attacked them for a good 20 minutes this morning with a Q-Tip and it felt great but now as I sit, eating my dinner, every time I chew I can hear not good things in my canal. And my sinuses are going nutso so we shall sit and wait for the plague to overtake my body.





OH!

Finals breakfast was last night, and I swear to you the coolest thing happened. See- Finals breakfast is when all the Priests and Jesuits make breakfast for the entire student body at 10 pm. They sing, they dance, they do all kinds of upbeat and inspiring things to get us through the dreadful week. That alone completes my existence, but something even more awesome occurred. Stomp the yard. Amidst the madness. Kind of.

You see, I'm in the cereal line because cereal's my favorite, grabbin' some Fruit Loops, searchin' for skim milk when all of a sudden I hear/see it. 12 men came in, entirely dressed in black with nylon masks and everything, and broke it down for reals.

Excitedly, I said to the person standing next to me, "Homegirl saw this on Fresh Prince on Saturday!" But she wasn't impressed with me.

Here's the clip from Fresh Prince/Phi Beta Gamma just in case anyone's truly curious as to what I witnessed:


http://youtube.com/watch?v=auF0BupvT0A

Click it to feel complete.


Also note young(er) Tyra Banks inthat clip looking much better than she does now.

Oh hello scary lady.

Anywhoo... I guess that's all. You better run before Tyra tries to eat 'chu.

love you, love your show.
exs and oh mys,
Rachel

P.S. Run faster. She looks hungry.

i eat dairy.

On Friday I walked three miles to the Peace Garden and listened to the waterfall for a little; when the weather started to look bad I walked back to my apartment, stopping every now and then to rest in the sand. It's kind of an amazingly freeing feeling. I have no one to please but myself, and I can walk whatever path I choose. It's all good, until you get your undies in a bunch. Literally. I chaffed my derriere and was in immense pain upon my return, but I'm still glad I made the journey because...

I had to work this weekend, which means I rarely saw anything of natural beauty; just dry wall and frosted windows. Usually I don't mind being trapped here-- okay, I do, but in the craziness that is life recently, I thought it might be a good thing. For the most part, it was. Last night, however, I lost my marbles.

After sleeping all day, I found myself wide awake in the early hours of the morning. I did some writing and chatting but once I'd run out of conscious friends and motivation to type, I was silly and did something I should have known better than to do: listened to Brad Paisley.

There is something about that man's voice that makes me tear up EVERY time. Whiskey Lullaby hands down kills me, I'm not sure why, but last night my poison was I Wish You'd Stay. Gosh, if there's ever been a song that speaks to me in my desperate need to hold on to Joe's friendship, it's that one. I cried for hours; literally.

At 5:30 am when the sun was peeking above the sky, I decided to go out to the beach and watch the sun rise. My face was kind of dry and itchy from the sobfest, but it felt good to hear the waves crash against the rocks. I moseyed my way back inside eventually and went to bed at 7, waking again at 10. I'm not sure why I wasn't feeling tired, but I rose with a start. I threw in 6 loads of laundry (yes, I've been in dire need of clothes for a while) , picked up some breakfast, and well... that's about it.

I just completed my last group meeting for the semester and gosh it feels good. Now I lay in bed, thinking about work tomorrow at 10 (scheduled myself in late, heck yes!) and that's about all. I have nothing to complain about yet. I will tomorrow, when I actually start studying for my finals.

Until then, I think I'll finish my quesadilla and my milk chug. Yum yum.


love you, love your show
exs and oh mys,
Rachel


P.S. Last night amidst my boredom I looked up the symptoms for appendicitis; if you're feeling pain in your stomach which then moves to your side, which may be followed by nausea and vomiting.... you might be having one right now. Go to the doctor.

kthanksbye